{"id":251,"date":"2018-11-27T18:45:15","date_gmt":"2018-11-27T10:45:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jesus4lesbians.com\/?p=251"},"modified":"2018-12-06T07:40:58","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T23:40:58","slug":"my-response-to-a-catholic-fundamentalist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/?p=251","title":{"rendered":"My response to a Catholic fundamentalist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium alignleft\" 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\" width=\"186\" height=\"270\" \/>I first met Kevin Kukla online.\u00a0 I came to appreciate him as having a solid intellect and a good heart.\u00a0 He is a devoted family man and an accomplished philosophy professor at the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa. He has created his own website, <a href=\"http:\/\/prolife365.com\">prolife365.com<\/a>, and has about three dozen posted blogs.\u00a0 The first one I read was \u201c3 BIG Reasons Why the Catholic Church Teaches Against Voluntary Sterilizations.\u201d\u00a0 It didn\u2019t take long for me to notice that Kukla has all the traits of Cardinal Ratzinger, including his mission to promote Catholic Fundamentalism as the only \u201ctrue\u201d faith.\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at some details and then I will share with you my response to his blog.<\/p>\n<p>Here is what one finds on a medical website when one searches for the phrase &#8220;sterilization for women&#8221;:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h2 id=\"#tuballigation\">What is Tubal Ligation?<\/h2>\n<p>Tubal Ligation is also knows as Tubal Sterilization or Sterilization for women. It is a permanent procedure that women undergo to prevent pregnancy. During this procedure, a health care professional will close or block a woman\u2019s fallopian tubes.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"prevent\">How Does Tubal Ligation\u00a0Prevent Pregnancy?<\/h2>\n<p>This method prevents sperm from reaching the eggs. Your body releases one egg each month and it passes\u00a0through the fallopian tubes towards the uterus. Serialization for\u00a0women blocks\u00a0each of these tubes so the eggs cannot reach the uterus.\u00a0 Without fertilization of an egg, a woman cannot become pregnant.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"benefits\">What Are the Benefits of Tubal Sterilization?<\/h2>\n<p>This method is a permanent method of birth control. It allows you to enjoy sex without worrying about becoming pregnant. It is simple, convenient, and safe. Most women say that they have an increase in sexual pleasure as well. This is likey because they don\u2019t have to think about unwanted pregnancy.<\/p>\n<p>Tubal Sterilization does not affect or change your hormone levels. The hormones that affect breast size, sex drive, muscle tone, voice, hair are still made in the ovaries. These hormones will still flow through your body as normal. You will still have normal periods and menopause will not happen earlier.<\/p>\n<p>Tubal Ligation\u00a0might be right for you, if you:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do not want anymore children ever (you and your partner agree)<\/li>\n<li>Do not want to pass a hereditary disability or illness<\/li>\n<li>Think a future pregnancy can threaten your life<\/li>\n<li>Agree with your partner that a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.birthcontrol.com\/options\/vasectomy\/\">vasectomy<\/a> is not for him<\/li>\n<li>Believe other <a href=\"https:\/\/www.birthcontrol.com\/options\">birth control methods<\/a> are unacceptable<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 id=\"disadvantages\">What Are the Disadvantages of Tubal Sterilization?<\/h2>\n<p>This method is not for you if you:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Want to\u00a0become pregnant in the future<\/li>\n<li>Are feeling\u00a0pressure from friends, family, or your partner<\/li>\n<li>Are trying to solve a short term\/temporary problem (being out of work, financial worries, physical illness, short-term mental, sexual or marriage problems).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It is important to think about the future and any possible life changes. Examples\u00a0can include death of a child, remarriage or divorce.\u00a0 [full text = https:\/\/www.birthcontrol.com\/options\/tubal-ligation\/]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>What I notice here is that a woman contemplating a tubal ligation is prompted to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of this medical procedure.\u00a0 It is not meant for everyone.\u00a0 Women must decide for themselves by taking into account her special circumstances.\u00a0 No one is going to impose a solution upon her.\u00a0 In coming to her decision, she is advised to talk this over with her husband because her decision here will impact his life most assuredly.\u00a0 She is advised to seriously take into account how a tubal ligation will effect her own situation, both short term and long term.<\/p>\n<p>When Kevin Kukla enters into a discussion with a woman contemplating a tubal ligation, he bypasses all discussion of advantages and disadvantages.\u00a0 For him, such a discussion is unnecessary once one realizes that a tubal ligation is a grave sin that endangers one&#8217;s future with God in heaven.\u00a0 In view of this, Kukla immediately gets to the heart of the matter (as he sees it):<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>When it comes to getting a voluntary sterilization, the same [moral] principles apply.\u00a0 To purposely mutilate one\u2019s flesh, so as to render one\u2019s self sterile is a grave sin.<a href=\"#_edn1\" name=\"_ednref1\"><strong>[i]<\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com\/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD0hcInsG8qAQs4iFIbhrYIrclj26n_JmylJ9p-2X_WtyFS21q\" width=\"342\" height=\"147\" \/>I note immediately that Kukla equates a tubal ligation with self-mutilation.\u00a0 His use of language appears directed to shock his reader.\u00a0 After all, a tubal ligation is a \u201csurgical procedure\u201d performed by a doctor of medicine in a safe, sterile environment.\u00a0 The moment that he equates \u201ctubal ligation\u201d with self-mutilation he commits the logical fallacy of presupposing his conclusion (namely, that a tubal ligation is a grave sin) in the very definition of his terms. \u00a0This would be like a prosecuting attorney addressing a defendant as \u201cthe rapist\u201d throughout a trial.<\/p>\n<p>Kukla\u2019s use of exaggerated and circular arguments continues:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>As I have discussed in the past, even earlier this week, sterile sex is not an act of love.\u00a0 Obtaining a tubal ligation or a vasectomy is a form of permanent birth control, which is also gravely immoral.<\/p>\n<p>Love includes doing what\u2019s best for the other person\u2014not using [manipulating?] that person.\u00a0 Holding back one\u2019s fertility, therefore, qualifies as using another person, in this case for sexual pleasure.<a href=\"#_edn2\" name=\"_ednref2\"><strong>[ii]<\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Kukla here wants us to believe that a tubal ligation or a vasectomy is \u201ca form of birth control.\u201d If the use of birth control is gravely immoral, then it follows that &#8220;permanent birth control&#8221; is all the more offensive.\u00a0 Furthermore, Kukla is persuaded that the use of birth control is tantamount to manipulating one&#8217;s partner for one&#8217;s selfish sexual pleasure.\u00a0 What strikes me as excessive here is his notion that every act of sex before the operation is judged to be \u201cloving\u201d while every act of sex after the operation is automatically reduced to being \u201cloveless\u201d and \u201cmanipulative.\u201d\u00a0 Kukla affirms these judgments without in any way making clear how he arrived at them.<\/p>\n<p>It never enters Kukla\u2019s mind that the sterilization might have been prescribed by a doctor as \u201cmedically necessary\u201d because \u201canother pregnancy will almost certainly be fatal.\u201d\u00a0 So, a couple that avoids the grievious sin of &#8220;self-mutilation&#8221; would have to use abstinence or NFP to prevent another pregnancy.\u00a0 Abstinence might not be attractive because it means that one or both partners would be prone to experience sexual frustration that could lead to masturbation or infidelity&#8211;both grave sins.\u00a0 NFP, meanwhile, is notoriously ineffective for many couples.\u00a0 Hence, using NFP would be a source of grave endangerment for the couple described above.\u00a0\u00a0 I would expect that most of my readers would be able to imagine the severe anxiety that would plague their love making.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe the medical website had a case like this in mind when it suggested that &#8220;Tubal Ligation might be right for you, if you think a future pregnancy can threaten your life.&#8221;\u00a0 This is the promise and the benefit of this operation:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>It allows you to enjoy sex without worrying about becoming pregnant. It is simple, convenient, and safe. Most women say that they have an increase in sexual pleasure as well. This is likely because they don\u2019t have to think about unwanted pregnancy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Kukla gives no signal that he would be open to special\u00a0 circumstances that would more than justify allowing tubal ligation (&#8220;mutilation&#8221;).\u00a0 This is not surprising. \u00a0Kukla\u2019s blindness to circumstances is a clue that his analysis depends upon an essentialist position.\u00a0 Acts are black or while, moral or immoral.\u00a0 Self-mutilation is gravely evil and never permitted.\u00a0 Birth control is gravely evil and never permitted.\u00a0 Tubal ligation is a form of mutilation and a form of birth control.\u00a0 As such, it is never permitted.<\/p>\n<p>Kukla gives us no hint of his own experience in this realm, nor does he recount the experience of others by way of making his point.\u00a0 The reader is kept guessing as to how a simple operation could change a loving, caring person into an ogre.\u00a0 The following paragraphs help us to get a glimpse as to why he says what he says:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The <strong>purpose for sex<\/strong> is two-fold.\u00a0 First and foremost, it is ordered toward the procreation of children.\u00a0 Obviously, if one or both partners are sterilized, then the conjugal act no longer is ordered toward its primary purpose.<\/p>\n<p>Second, the conjugal act is supposed to be unitive for the spouses and a remedy for concupiscence.\u00a0 To purposely hold back one\u2019s fertility from one\u2019s spouse means the second purpose becomes frustrated as well.\u00a0 How can there be unity, when one or both spouses are not fully committed?<a href=\"#_edn3\" name=\"_ednref3\"><strong>[iii]<\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Here Kukla defines, as does Cardinal Ratzinger, what two factors are absolutely essential for marital love-making to be judged as \u201cgood.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he shows how a tubal ligation vitiates one or both of these requirements.\u00a0 When this happens, \u201cgood sex\u201d falls immediately into his category of \u201cbad sex\u201d or \u201cloveless sex.\u201d\u00a0 There is here no middle ground of \u201cgrey sex\u201d\u2014every act is black or white.<\/p>\n<p>Notice how easily Kukla arrives at the harsh judgment (made without any explanation) that \u201cboth spouses are not fully committed.\u201d Notice also that Kukla never speaks about \u201cmutual surrender\u201d and \u201cpleasure bonding.\u201d Not once does Kukla allow that \u201cgood sex\u201d must be playful, mutual, and non-coercive.\u00a0 A husband could force himself upon his wife and seemingly fulfill Kukla\u2019s notion of \u201cgood sex.\u201d Does not the phrase \u201cas a remedy for concupiscence\u201d harken back to the time when a husband \u201ctook his pleasure\u201d as he might with a slave or a prostitute?\u00a0 And why does Kukla repeatedly use the clinical term \u201cconjugal act\u201d (just as does Cardinal Ratzinger) while studiously avoiding the modern notion of \u201clove-making\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>This line of thinking and speaking is important to notice here because it helps to make transparent how Kukla along with Cardinal Ratzinger will later apply this same sort of analysis to lesbian lovers and come up with the hard and fast conclusion that a lesbian is only capable of\u00a0 \u201cbad sex\u201d = \u201cloveless sex\u201d =\u00a0 \u201cgrave sin every single time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No sooner does Kukla finish making his grand analysis when he has to back up and make a series of escape clauses to allow for exceptions.\u00a0 Here is one such exception:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>If a medical condition necessitates someone to lose the use of or to have removed their sexual organs, then this is not a sin.\u00a0 There, the mutilization is a therapeutic means of improving one\u2019s life physically.<a href=\"#_edn4\" name=\"_ednref4\"><strong>[iv]<\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Note here that the continued use of the term \u201cmutilation\u201d at this point forces us to believe that, in Kukla\u2019s mind, there are now \u201cgood mutilations\u201d and \u201cbad mutilations.\u201d\u00a0 This makes Kukla\u2019s judgments appear prejudicial and arbitrary.\u00a0 If a woman has a life-threatening cancer growing in her follicles, then they might be surgically removed.\u00a0 Why so?\u00a0 Because here the organs themselves pose a physical threat.\u00a0 Healthy follicles cannot be removed.<\/p>\n<p>Kukla position may flounder here.\u00a0 How about the case of removing tonsils in children?\u00a0 If this a &#8220;mutilation&#8221; that is never permitted? Then, following the logic of Kukla above, are we to suppose that one must always wait until the tonsils are inflamed and the child has a high fever before removing them?\u00a0 Does the same hold true for wisdom teeth?\u00a0 Can they be removed only if and when they are sore and impacted?\u00a0 A case then can be made for the legitimacy of &#8220;preventative surgery.&#8221;\u00a0 Extending this further, would it be possible to see tubal ligation as a form of preventative surgery?<\/p>\n<p>Does a wife who is chronically nervous and psychologically frigid because of her \u201cfear of yet another pregnancy\u201d have the right to get a \u201ctubal ligation\u201d as the therapeutic means to retain her sanity?\u00a0 How about a wife with three children who is \u201cchronically worn out\u201d and knows that she will either stop having babies or she will walk out of her marriage and her children\u2019s lives completely?\u00a0 Kukla fails to consider such cases.\u00a0 Is this because he has never encountered them? Or is it because he, as a man, fails to give much weight to women\u2019s psychological health?\u00a0 One cannot be sure. In any case, we know that he makes an allowance for tubal ligations (a therapeutic \u201cmutilation\u201d) in cases of \u201cmedical necessity,\u201d but he makes no parallel case for &#8220;psychological necessity.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Kukla then makes further exceptions so that he can protect his earlier definition of what constitutes \u201cgood sex\u201d:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>If a physical ailment prevents a couple from conceiving, then they are not sinning by having conjugal relations without the ability to get pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>As for menopause, this is a natural function of women that their ovaries eventually stop producing ovums, and so they cannot become pregnant again.\u00a0 This too is natural and any subsequent marital relations are not sinful.<a href=\"#_edn5\" name=\"_ednref5\"><strong>[v]<\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The exception clauses here demonstrate that some naturally occurring circumstances can allow one to have \u201cgood sex\u201d even when the first essential, namely fertility, is <strong>not<\/strong> present.\u00a0 If that is true, then it would seem to follow that a lesbian couple in a committed relationship might fall in this category. They are prevented from conceiving by the natural circumstance that they are both females.\u00a0 However, both Kukla and Cardinal Ratzinger will throw in a new caveat to prevent us from allowing this exception.\u00a0 They will introduce an essentialist definition of marriage as exclusively designed for \u201cone man and one woman.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Essentialists set up the rules of the game so that, at every turn, they are sure to win all the arguments.\u00a0 And if you spot one weakness or one loophole, they already have another essentialist rule tucked up their sleeves that they can shake out and place on the table thereby blocking counter arguments<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The application of their rules routinely produces immense amounts of suffering and even threatens to breakdown solid marriages as well.<a href=\"#_edn6\" name=\"_ednref6\">[vi]<\/a>\u00a0 Their sense of compassion and mercy is severely limited by their assumptions.\u00a0 To maintain their absolute certainties, they have to tell themselves that they have chosen the \u201cnarrow path\u201d by upholding all of God\u2019s sexual purity codes.<\/p>\n<p>As they follow in Christ\u2019s footsteps, the thistles and thorns on both sides of the path cut into their flesh.\u00a0 They are content to not be happy in this world; their eyes are on the prize in the world to come.\u00a0 Being disposed to relish pain more than joy, they naturally listen to the suffering of their victims with the same disposition that they give to their own suffering.\u00a0 \u201cI will offer my sufferings along with the infinite sufferings of my divine Savior nailed to the cross,\u201d they whisper in their prayers.<a href=\"#_edn7\" name=\"_ednref7\">[vii]<\/a><a name=\"_Toc519259999\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h6>My letter to Kevin Kukla<\/h6>\n<blockquote><p>Kevin,<\/p>\n<p>You are living in an unreal world. . . .\u00a0 You\u2019re very good at the tech talk, but I don&#8217;t hear you referring to any lived experience.\u00a0 So this is where I intend to begin.<\/p>\n<p>You say, &#8220;Love includes doing what\u2019s best for the other person\u2014not using that person.\u00a0 Holding back one\u2019s fertility, therefore, qualifies as using another person, in this case for sexual pleasure.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But I say to you, &#8220;Love includes doing what\u2019s best for the other person\u2014not using that person.\u00a0 <strong>Having sex with my wife that is mutual, joyous, and self-giving is never a sin.\u00a0 Far from it.\u00a0 It is a source of grace mixed with delicious ecstasy!\u00a0 And this is the case when it might result in conception and when it might not or cannot&#8211;doesn&#8217;t matter.&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/strong><br \/>\nI must say that, when my wife and I together decided to go off contraceptives, we checked her vaginal mucus each night and, when it got slippery, we knew this was the beginning of the fertile segment of her menstrual cycle.\u00a0 That night, we had a special rush of pleasure bonding because together we imagined that we were creating (with God&#8217;s help) our future daughter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The next three nights were the same.\u00a0 The great sex that was our gift to each other was there, but now it was infused with our joint love for our future daughter. . . .\u00a0 We fucked like rabbits throughout the night.\u00a0 We laughed and played and kissed for hours.\u00a0 This was like the unrestrained sex that we had for the first two weeks after our wedding. . . .\u00a0 It was glorious.<\/p>\n<p>But we were mistaken.\u00a0 No conception took place.\u00a0 So the next month the sign of the slippery mucus came again, and again our marital orgy came over us with the naturalness of dew falling off the morning leaves.\u00a0 Again, we felt our future daughter was palpably there with us and we loved her along with loving each other.\u00a0 Nonstop.<\/p>\n<p>But it didn&#8217;t happen.\u00a0 Six months later, we consulted a specialist in fertility studies.\u00a0 The experts told us we both were &#8220;marginally fertile.&#8221;\u00a0 So we continued our monthly sex orgies<a href=\"#_edn8\" name=\"_ednref8\"><strong>[viii]<\/strong><\/a> for two full years.\u00a0 Near the end of the second year, the vision of our daughter, I must admit, had grown dim.\u00a0 In its place,\u00a0our love making now was often drenched in tears of pain and regret.\u00a0 Good sex, believe it or not, can heal these memories and mend the wounds that life imposes on those who love God.<\/p>\n<p>Then it happened!\u00a0 No, we did not get pregnant.\u00a0 But the love that we had so faithfully generated for our future daughter had mysteriously spread out into the world and moved Zoila, a complete stranger, to ask my long-time social worker friend Margaret a favor: &#8220;I&#8217;m pregnant.\u00a0 I need to find a couple in the USA who would take and love my baby.\u201d\u00a0 Now Zoila had illegally crossed the Rio Grande and was being detained by the INS awaiting imminent deportation.\u00a0 And so we gave her the residency rights that she wanted and needed, and she gave us the beloved daughter that we wanted and needed.<br \/>\n====================<\/p>\n<p>Now some theological reflections:<\/p>\n<p>#1 Would our sex have been more committed or more holy if we had not used contraceptives for the first four years of our marriage?\u00a0 NO WAY!<\/p>\n<p>#2 Would we have been happier, fuller, more ecstatic in our love-making if we had used NFP?\u00a0 NO WAY!<\/p>\n<p>In fact, the peak of my wife&#8217;s friskiness was exactly when her mucus was slippery.\u00a0 It&#8217;s the same for most other women as well.\u00a0 NFP enforces &#8220;abstinence&#8221; just at the time when the sex drive of the woman is highest.<\/p>\n<p>Wonder if you know this?<\/p>\n<p>#3 Does it become &#8220;unnatural&#8221; for my wife to want sex, to love sex, to enjoy sex during this fertile period [when the NFP people are abstaining]?\u00a0 NO WAY!\u00a0 God&#8217;s gift is not to be spurned.<\/p>\n<p>Those who rely upon NFP (a) miss out on the natural high period in their fertility cycle and (b) risk an untimely or socially disruptive pregnancy because NFP is one of the LEAST reliable ways of exercising RESPONSIBILE sexuality.<a href=\"#_edn9\" name=\"_ednref9\"><strong>[ix]<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The 5% of Catholics still practicing NFP, needless to say, will never tell you this.<\/p>\n<p>They foolishly limit themselves to NFP because they buy into the indoctrination that came after <strong>Humanae Vitae<\/strong> in 1968.\u00a0 Pope Paul rigged the membership of the Birth Control Commission,<a href=\"#_edn10\" name=\"_ednref10\"><strong>[x]<\/strong><\/a> and then when they didn&#8217;t give him the answer he expected, he secretly shelved their report and wrote <strong>Humanae Vitae<\/strong> for the purpose of shoving his solution down the throats of 95% of those on the Commission.\u00a0 And notice carefully he didn&#8217;t say that NFP was a good way, a better way, a superior way.\u00a0 No he had the gall to say IT&#8217;S THE ONLY WAY.\u00a0 So now the zealots (the Catholic Taliban) go about telling everyone that God wants married couples to stick with God and stick with NFP.\u00a0 What is wrong with the picture?\u00a0 The whole thing smells of a terrible dishonesty.<\/p>\n<p>And they talk so easy and calmly about &#8220;grave sins&#8221; for not going God&#8217;s way as do you, Kevin, in your article.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t buy it!\u00a0 Over 90% of Catholics don&#8217;t buy it.\u00a0 It is a phony bill of goods, decided by a dishonest pope who never did his homework and never had the least understanding of the blessed sex that I have with my wife.<\/p>\n<p>Am I angry with Catholic teaching on these issues?\u00a0 You can be sure I am.\u00a0 And why?\u00a0 Because the Catholic Taliban has set out to ramrod the purity codes that they have manufactured for themselves down the throats of every Catholic on the face of the earth OR BE DAMNED!\u00a0 Think of the priests, nuns, and theologians that the bishops have mercilessly tormented because they refused to toe the line of the Taliban who have taken over the Vatican.<\/p>\n<p>This is not the way of Jesus, buddy!<\/p>\n<p>Bless him!\u00a0\u00a0 Bless him!\u00a0 Bless him!\u00a0 He kept it simple and he kept it straight!\u00a0 &#8220;What must I do to gain eternal life?&#8221; is the question set before him.\u00a0 The Response: Love God . . . and love your Neighbor as yourself.\u00a0 Nothing about complicated purity codes here.\u00a0 Did I miss something?<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, I did miss something:<\/p>\n<p>Where is the love of God and love of Neighbor in the way that Cardinal Ratzinger tormented some of our best priests, nuns, and theologians. . . ?<\/p>\n<p>And Jesus said and I say with him, &#8220;Woe to you who tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people&#8217;s shoulders\u201d (Matt 23:4).\u00a0 So, I stand with Jesus against the Catholic Taliban.<\/p>\n<p>Want to hear more, go to <strong>https:\/\/payhip.com\/b\/6zpm<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Fraternally,<br \/>\nAaron<\/p>\n<h2><a name=\"_Toc519260000\"><\/a>Reflections on my strategy<\/h2>\n<p>I decided to move in quickly and to take the field by highlighting my own moral standards.\u00a0 I state where I stand and clearly distinguish myself from the fundamentalists.\u00a0 I practically boast that my standards have a solidity that NFP cannot match.\u00a0 In fact, I try to make the NFP advocates jealous<strong>. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I let my personal story speak for itself.\u00a0 My hope is that Kukla will feel some small admiration for the road he never allowed himself to travel.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I also make it a point to single out the three points where my moral standards refuse to bow down to his Vatican rigidity.\u00a0 Then I make a clear appeal to the freedom of Jesus: \u201cHe kept it simple and he kept it straight.\u201d\u00a0 Finally, I show how \u201cLove your Neighbor\u201d was brutally missing in the Ratzinger mistreatment of his enemies. \u00a0I let him know that I think of him and Cardinal Ratzinger as the \u201cCatholic Taliban.\u201d<a href=\"#_edn11\" name=\"_ednref11\">[xi]<\/a> \u00a0\u00a0Following in the footsteps of Pope Francis, I give him no place to hide.\u00a0 This is \u201ctough love\u201d\u2014nothing less will be able to reach him.<\/p>\n<p>In the end, <strong>I acknowledge that Kukla is my Brother whether he accepts my position or not<\/strong>.\u00a0 I never grovel or beg, since this would be interpreted as though I somehow need his recognition.\u00a0 This would be interpreted as uncertainty on my part.\u00a0 So I profess my faith in just the way that Pope Francis advised: \u201cIt is necessary to say everything that is felt with <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Parrhesia\"><strong><em>parrhesia<\/em><\/strong><\/a> [Greek: rhetoric boldness or frankness of speech].\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-165\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jesus4lesbians.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Wanting-to-be-someone-else-150x150.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Wanting-to-be-someone-else-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Wanting-to-be-someone-else-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Wanting-to-be-someone-else-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Wanting-to-be-someone-else.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/>Those who want to interact with this blog are warmly invited to &#8220;Leave a Reply&#8221; below.\u00a0 <span style=\"background-color: #ffff00;\">A solid way to begin doing this is to offer &#8220;readback lines.&#8221;\u00a0<\/span> To do this, quickly glace back over the entire blog and pick out the one or two lines that have made a deep impression upon you.\u00a0 Copy them [CTRL-C] and then paste them\u00a0[CTRL-V] into an empty comment box below.\u00a0 If you wish, signal the emotion that you feel when reading your readback lines.\u00a0 The primary emotions are anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, surprise.\u00a0\u00a0 No need to further explain yourself.\u00a0 It is enough to identify the text important to you and to name the emotion(s) that it evokes.\u00a0 <span style=\"background-color: #ffff00;\">All of this normally takes less than a few minutes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I and others will &#8220;thank you&#8221; for your contribution.\u00a0 If you are tempted to say more, I urge you to hold back.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jesus4lesbians.com\/?p=298\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your sense of safety and the safety of others is best protected by not getting overly wordy in the beginning.\u00a0<\/a> This will come after a few days or weeks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Endnotes and Leave a Reply~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref1\" name=\"_edn1\">[i]<\/a> Kevin Kukla, \u201c3 BIG Reasons Why the Catholic Church Teaches Against Voluntary Sterilizations,\u201d <em>ProLife365,<\/em> 30 Nov 2015\u00a0 (<a href=\"http:\/\/prolife365.com\/tubal-ligation-and-vasectomy-sterilizations\/\">http:\/\/prolife365.com\/tubal-ligation-and-vasectomy-sterilizations\/<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref2\" name=\"_edn2\">[ii]<\/a> Kukla, \u201c3 BIG Reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref3\" name=\"_edn3\">[iii]<\/a> Kukla, \u201c3 BIG Reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref4\" name=\"_edn4\">[iv]<\/a> Kukla, \u201c3 BIG Reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref5\" name=\"_edn5\">[v]<\/a> Kukla, \u201c3 BIG Reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref6\" name=\"_edn6\">[vi]<\/a> Let me supply an instance of this suffering:<\/p>\n<p>I know of a devout Catholic woman married to a Protestant gentleman.\u00a0 The first two children born to them during the first three years of their marriage were a mutual joy that bound them together in lifelong bliss.\u00a0 But in their early 40s, this bliss was rudely shattered by two unplanned pregnancies due to the failure of NFP.\u00a0 The wife had to interrupt her career as an artist in order to become a full-time mother and part-time grandmother.<\/p>\n<p>The husband never entirely trusted NFP.\u00a0 Nor did his wife, truth to say, but she was traumatized by the thought that every contraceptive use would be a mortal sin that risks eternal hellfire.\u00a0 She consulted two priests on this matter.\u00a0 One invited her to \u201clook at her distress and trials as an opportunity to be united with the sufferings of Christ on the cross.\u201d\u00a0 The second assured her that \u201cpraying unceasingly would give her the strength to follow Christ and to gain for herself (and for her husband) treasures in the world to come.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The husband was frustrated that \u201cthese priests sugarcoated her sufferings rather than relieved them.\u201d\u00a0 The more he tried to gently persuade his wife to try the pill, the more she moved physically and emotionally away from him.<\/p>\n<p>Initially her husband attended Mass with her and was even considering converting to Catholicism.\u00a0 Later, he resented the way that \u201cher priests\u201d fed into her religious trauma.\u00a0 He blamed \u201cthese priests for undercutting their marital bliss.\u201d\u00a0 So, in the summers, he played golf frequently, and, in the winters, he went out drinking while his wife and his two infant daughters went to Mass without him.\u00a0 He was both angry and depressed.\u00a0 She, meanwhile, was stuck in a dark place where her love for her husband is constrained by her love for her Church.\u00a0\u00a0 So, they ended up sleeping fitfully at night in separate beds.\u00a0 They started out as ardent lovers and ended up as \u201cworking partners in a sexless marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref7\" name=\"_edn7\">[vii]<\/a>\u00a0 \u201cWhat a beautiful opportunity it is to combine my sufferings with the sufferings of Christ,\u201d they say.\u00a0 Accordingly, fundamentalists sugar-coat their sufferings and sugar-coat the suffering of their victims as well.\u00a0 This is why I produced, just prior to this book, the following: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Aaron-Milavec\/e\/B001JSBPKG\/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_5?qid=1449543063&amp;sr=1-5\">Aaron Milavec<\/a>, \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Forgiveness-Sins-without-Crucifixion-Jesus-ebook\/dp\/B017GQE6RS\/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1449543063&amp;sr=1-5&amp;keywords=aaron+milavec\">The Forgiveness of Sins without the Crucifixion of Jesus<\/a>,\u201d Kindle eBooks, 01 Nov 2015 (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B017GQE6RS\/\">http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B017GQE6RS\/<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref8\" name=\"_edn8\">[viii]<\/a> I am deliberately using the term \u201csex orgies\u201d to register the fervent and loving passion that erupted each month when we were consciously and deliberately enjoying the sex that God created for producing offspring.\u00a0 The long Christian tradition, by contrast, has been more prone to exalt suffering rather sexual enjoyment.\u00a0 St. Augustine, for example, imagined that the impulsiveness of hot sex was essentially sinful because any act wherein a man loses his rational control is necessarily dehumanizing (following the Stoic philosophers).\u00a0 For Augustine, even marital sex undertaken to fulfill the command \u201cto be fruitful and to multiply\u201d was still a venial sin.\u00a0 Had he known better, he would have said that this sex is doubly blessed and doubly satisfying.<\/p>\n<p>The twelfth-century Italian theologian Peter Lombard even went so far as to maintain in his De excusatione coitus that <em>for a husband to love his wife too ardently<\/em> is a <em>sin<\/em> worse than\u00a0adultery.\u00a0 Such opinions are theological nonsense. Yet, even Blessed Pope John Paul II made the mistake of teaching that it is \u201ca [minor] sin\u201d for a man to love his wife too ardently.\u00a0 For a biblical and historical study of this issue, see \u201cJesus on Sex and Marriage and Finding the Heart of God<strong>\u201d <\/strong>(<a href=\"http:\/\/www.churchonfire.net\/sex\/\">http:\/\/www.churchonfire.net\/sex\/<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref9\" name=\"_edn9\">[ix]<\/a> For full details, see <a href=\"http:\/\/www.churchonfire.net\/?p=989\">http:\/\/www.churchonfire.net\/?p=989<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref10\" name=\"_edn10\">[x]<\/a> For more details about the Pontifical Birth Control Commission, see <a href=\"http:\/\/www.churchonfire.net\/how-paul-vi-bushwacked-vatican-ii\/#Sec7\">http:\/\/www.churchonfire.net\/?page_id=24#Sec7<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref11\" name=\"_edn11\">[xi]<\/a> Christian Taliban?\u00a0 I discovered that I am not alone in this assessment.\u00a0 See <a href=\"http:\/\/www.michaelcarino.com\/author\/admin\/\">Michael Carino<\/a>, \u201cHave We Become Christian Taliban?\u201d 09 Sept 2011 (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.michaelcarino.com\/have-we-become-christian-taliban\/\">http:\/\/www<br \/>\n.michaelcarino.com\/have-we-become-christian-taliban\/<\/a>).\u00a0 See, also, Fr. Rosica who says, \u201cThere is a certain form of Taliban Catholicism out there now that would like to dictate everything, and really it doesn\u2019t speak to the future\u201c\u00a0 (http:\/\/callmejorgebergoglio.blogspot.com\/2015\/02\/cardinal-carlo-maria-martini-sj.html).<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I first met Kevin Kukla online.\u00a0 I came to appreciate him as having a solid intellect and a good heart.\u00a0 He is a devoted family man and an accomplished philosophy professor at the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa. He has created his own website, prolife365.com, and has about three dozen posted blogs.\u00a0 The first one &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/?p=251\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;My response to a Catholic fundamentalist&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=251"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":336,"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions\/336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/Jesus4lesbians.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}