The Issues

Ch1 Early Experiences and How my Mind Has Changed

I begin with my personal experience because, when everything is said and done, my personal encounters with homosexuals impacts how I register their place in society and in the churches.  In this, there is no neutral starting point for me or for anyone else. No matter how many degrees one has earned or how many ordinations that one has experienced, no one can escape their personal experiential base.  Anyone denying this is not sufficiently self-aware and cannot be trusted as a guide in addressing the issue of homosexuality.

Ch2 How the Bible and Cardinal Ratzinger Treat and Mistreat Homosexuals

I will now introduce Matthew Vines’ marvelous skill and disarming authenticity in probing the limits of using the Bible to discover God’s hateful condemnation of homosexuality.  Immediately thereafter I will unravel the dangerous flaws found in Cardinal Ratzinger’s arguments against same-sex marriagesThis section will unmask the hidden fallacies found in the Catholic and evangelical Protestant claims to have found God’s point of view.  It will also address whether my criticisms of Ratzinger’s Doctrine are rash and disrespectful.

Ch3 How John J. McNeill, Pope Francis, and the U.S. Supreme Court Safeguard our Future

Now I will use case studies to expose how authoritarian approaches serve to destroy communities and to defeat the very goals that their exponents hope to achieve.  I will borrow healthy points of departure from John McNeill, Pope Francis, and the U.S. Supreme Court that enable Christian communities to reaffirm the wisdom of Jesus and to bind up the wounds of all our children.  I even offer a healing balm for those who vigorously disagree with me.

Ch4 Nonviolent Resistance to the Christian Taliban

As I circulated my first three chapters, I heard from those who were disgusted with how certain bishops and pastors have resorted  to using intimidation and threats in order to silence believers who support same-sex marriages.  Those afflicted are, in most instances, justly angry and ready to take action against the menace of authoritarian fundamentalists within their church.  It is for the afflicted, and most especially for the afflicted youths, that I have created this chapter on “nonviolent resistance.”

Ch5 How Jesus Silenced the Fundamentalists

Our struggle against fundamentalism needs all the help we can get from Jesus.  When the Gospels are explored, it is clear that homosexuality and same-sex marriages do not show up.  However, what one does discover is how Jesus vigorously confronted Jewish fundamentalists in his day; hence, we, as disciples of the Lord,  have much to learn from Jesus’ nonviolent resistance.

Note: This is the hub of this site.  It is a simplified outline of my book.  Click on those underlined words that attract your attention, and you will be immediately shown a blog that invites you to explore and interact freely with the topic chosen.

Follow your interests.  Follow your bliss.  Leave behind a personal trail of your stories, your concerns, your hunches, your improvements, and, above all, your gratitude–gratitude for what others have posted that expands your own searching and softens your heart.

Help make this a safe place where everyone can humbly speak their truth and be surrounded with gratitude and encouragement.  Honor the truth that each person has found even when it is not “your” truth.  Just as the Lord gave you a unique face and a special “calling,” allow yourself to be brave and “serve the Lord” by holding onto “your” truth while acknowledging, “God is not finished with me yet!”  Above all, avoid harsh criticism (that crushes the broken spirit) and stay away from giving unsolicited advice.  “May God, the source of hope, fill you with joy and peace” (Rom 15:13) .  ~~Aaron

Issues — for those who read French easily


Chap. 1  Premières  expériences. Comment j’ai changé d’opinion.

Je commence par évoquer mon expérience personnelle, car, bien entendu, mes rencontres avec les homosexuels ont eu une incidence sur l’idée que je me fais de leur place dans la société et dans les Eglises. Dans ce domaine, j’estime qu’il n’y a, pour personne,  de point de départ neutre. Peu importent le nombre de diplômes ou le niveau dans la hiérarchie ecclésiastique : l’expérience personnelle est essentielle. Le  nier, c’est faire preuve d’inconscience et se rendre incapable d’apporter des réponses pertinentes aux problèmes relatifs à la question homosexuelle.

Chap. 2  Comment la Bible et le cardinal Ratzinger traitent (et maltraitent) les homosexuels

Dans ce chapitre, je vous présente la position de Matthiew Vines pour mettre en évidence les limites qui s’imposent dans l’utilisation de la Bible, relativement à sa condamnation de l’homosexualité. Puis, je montrerai les lacunes de l’argumentation du cardinal Ratzinger contre le mariage de personnes de même sexe. Cette section dévoilera les idées fausses véhiculées par la prétention des protestants, catholiques et évangéliques de connaître le point de vue de Dieu et de parler en son nom.

Chap. 3 Comment John J. Mc Neill, le pape François et la Cour Suprême des USA sont pour nous les garants d’un avenir sûr

Ce chapitre utilise la méthode des cas (case-studies) pour montrer comment les approches autoritaires aboutissent à la désagrégation des communautés et à des résultats très éloignés des objectifs qu’on prétend poursuivre. J’emprunterai à John Mc Neill, au pape François et à la cour Suprême des USA des orientations pertinentes qui permettent aux communautés chrétiennes de réaffirmer la sagesse de Jésus et, par là, de soulager les souffrances de leurs membres – y compris de ceux qui peinent à accueillir les homosexuels comme leurs frères.

Chap. 4  Résistance non-violente aux talibans chrétiens

Lors de la diffusion de mes trois premiers chapitres, j’ai beaucoup appris de ceux qui étaient écoeurés par la façon dont certains évêques et pasteurs ont eu recours à l’intimidation et aux menaces pour faire taire les croyants qui soutiennent la cause des mariages homosexuels. Ceux-ci, saisis d’une juste colère, sont portés à réagir contre les déclarations des autorités ecclésiastiques, empreintes de fondamentalisme. Pour eux, ce chapitre offre des éléments de “résistance non-violente”.

Chap. 5  Comment Jésus réduit au silence les fondamentalistes

Pour lutter contre le fondamentalisme, il est impératif de recourir à l’Evangile et à l’exemple de Jésus. Certes, il n’est pas question dans l’évangile d’homosexualité ni de mariage homosexuel. En  revanche, l’on y découvre la façon dont Jésus s’est vigoureusement confronté aux fondamentalistes juifs de son époque. A nous, ses disciples, de suivre son exemple et d’apprendre de lui comment résister de façon non-violente !    [Merci à M. Mer pour la traduction.]

Book reviews

REVIEW by Rev. Richard Rohr, O.F.M.
Director, Center for Action and Contemplation

I’m not a moral theologian, but that does not prevent me from admiring the easy-to-read stories and analysis in Milavec’s book.  I come away inspired.  Milavec demonstrates step-by-step how he learned to welcome same-sex couples into his parish family following in the footsteps of Jesus.  I recommend this path to everyone.

REVIEW by Dr. Joseph J. Martos

Milavec combines personal experience with academic scholarship to present a convincing case that same-sex relationships can be healthy and wholesome for individuals, their families and society. . . .  Especially revealing are the parallels he draws between Christian dogmatists, Muslim fundamentalists such as the Taliban, and the Pharisees described in the gospels.

REVIEW by Daniel C. Maquire, S.T.D.
Prof. of Moral Theology, Marquette University (Milwaukee)

This book is an honest, THOROUGHLY CATHOLIC look at the beauty and legitimacy of same-sex love and marriage.

REVIEW by Barbara J. Aguilar, L.P.N.
Nurse, mother of two missionaries, guardian of abused dogs

I already knew my feelings on the LGBT issue, but after reading Dr. Milavec’s book, my eyes and heart were opened even wider. . . . Great job, Aaron, God bless you and thank you for standing up for what you know is right.

REVIEW by Mary E. Hunt, Ph.D.
Co-director, Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual (WATER)

The world needs all the queer-positive information it can get. This volume by a Catholic theologian adds personal stories, cases of unjust treatment, insights into sexual behavior, all of which are lacking in church teachings on LGBTIQIA lives.   Read it for insight and inspiration.

REVIEW by Rev. Tony Flannery, C.S.S.R.
Co-founder of the [Irish] Association of Catholic Priests (ACP)

This book is very timely.  While the hierarchy uses words like “welcome” and “accompaniment” in relation to LGBT people, our bishops still do incalculable harm by failing to openly challenge the offensive language and the imposition of celibacy that comes with Cardinal Ratzinger’s doctrine of homosexuality.  Until the hierarchy sets their own house in order, their official teaching will inevitably be received as meaningless and empty.  Milavec expertly shows pastors and parents what needs to be done in all of these areas.

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How bishops are expected to function

The bishop . . . will be sure to listen to the interested parties Various mandates have been published respecting the proper functioning of bishops.  More importantly, in 2004,  the Congregation for Bishops prepared and disseminated “Apostolorum Successores” (Directory for the Pastoral Ministry of Bishops).   Here are three sections that I have selected because they …

Why Constructive Dialogue on Homosexuality Can Take Place Among Methodists

Gays and the Church Applying Psychology to facilitate constructive dialogue. Andy Tix Ph.D. from Psychology Today, Feb 18, 2019 Although the Supreme Court’s landmark 2015 ruling in Obergefell vs. Hodges seemed to settle many civil issues about same-sex marriage in the United States, the topic remains contentious in many religious communities. In recent years, some …

Purpose of this site

Honest questions deserve honest answers.

For twenty-five years I have built a reputation as an international scholar[i] and as an innovative teacher[ii] dedicated to the formation of future ordained and lay ministers in the Catholic Church.  During this time, I made regular contacts with anguished individuals who poured out their grief and despair to me:

I heard the anguish of a seminarian who fears that he might be gay.  I heard the anguish of a mother who pleads with her son to give up his homosexual way of life and to save his immortal soul from hellfire.  I heard the anguish of a wife who has confessed to her husband that she is unable to love him with the passion he deserves because she recognizes that her passionate love is reserved for another woman. I heard the anguish of a dedicated teacher who has been trapped into signing the archbishop’s teaching contract that binds her never to support same-sex unions when she knows full well that she cannot withdraw, by even a hair’s breadth, her devotion to her dear brother who happens to be engaged to marry a man who is his lover.

As I was writing my book, the American Catholic bishops were openly declaring that the U.S. Supreme Court ruling of 16 June 2015 did not change their minds and that God’s Law trumps human law.  Since then a vocal minority of bishops has been zealously orchestrating a campaign to shame and marginalize any Catholic who supports or who enters into a same-sex union.  In this campaign, hundreds of Protestant ministers have shown themselves to be fervent allies.

Teachers are fired in my archdiocese for supporting youths who come out as gays or lesbians.  Lesbian couples in my parish who are active contributors to parish activities live in fear that their pastor will find out and that their ministries and/or their right to take Communion at the Sunday worship might be withdrawn.  A gay Catholic suffering from a heart attack was denied the last rites by a self-righteous hospital chaplain because he “refused to repent of his lifelong homosexuality.”

When Pope Francis extends a warm welcome to those who are in same-sex unions, he has been sharply criticized.  Four cardinals have even been so bold as to claim that Pope Francis is acting “heretically” and that he should do the honorable thing by retiring in shame.  Entire websites are devoted to denouncing our current pope[iii] on the basis of his “unlawful conduct” and his “rash ideas.”  In their minds, Pope Francis has gone soft on sinners and their zeal for God’s law knows no bounds.

So what would Jesus say and do regarding same-sex unions?  That is the $64,000 question that my book wishes to resolve.

If you want to extend your support to LGBTQ Catholics, click here.

[i] My academic formation, publications, and lectures can be found here:  A short bio can be found here:

[ii] For insights into my innovative teaching, go to and

[iii] To understand why some cardinals and bishops have accused Pope Francis of heresy, go to